Making the decision to go to counselling can feel like a big step. You might be wondering what you're supposed to say, what your counsellor will ask, or whether you'll even know where to start.
If you've never been to counselling before, it's completely normal to feel a little unsure about what to expect.
The good news is that you don't need to prepare a speech, have all the answers or know exactly what you want to talk about.
Your first session is a chance to talk
Your first counselling session is usually an opportunity to get to know your counsellor, talk about what's brought you in and discuss what you'd like support with.
Your counsellor may ask questions about what's been happening, how things have been affecting you and what you'd like to get from counselling.
You don't have to tell your whole story straight away.
Counselling is a process, and you can talk through things at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
“What if I don't know what to say?”
This is one of the most common concerns people have before their first counselling appointment.
You don't need to know exactly where to begin.
You might simply say:
“I'm not really sure where to start, but I've been finding things difficult lately.”
Or:
“I don't know if counselling is what I need, but I thought it might help to talk to someone.”
That's enough to start a conversation.
Your counsellor can help guide the discussion and work with you to understand what you're experiencing and what support might be helpful.
What will my counsellor ask me?
This will depend on you, your circumstances and your counsellor.
They may ask about what's happening in your life, how you're feeling, what you've noticed changing and whether there are particular things you'd like to work on.
They may also talk with you about what you'd like from counselling and how you can work together.
Counselling isn't about being given a list of things you need to do. It's about having a supportive space to explore what's going on and work towards what matters to you.
Will I have to talk about everything?
No.
You decide what you're comfortable talking about, and you don't have to share everything in your first session.
Some people are ready to talk openly from the beginning. Others need time to feel comfortable before discussing more personal or difficult experiences.
There is no right way to do it.
Building a trusting relationship with your counsellor can take time, and that's okay.
What happens after the first session?
Your counsellor will work with you to understand what support might be useful and what you'd like to focus on.
This might involve exploring particular challenges, developing ways to cope with difficult emotions or working through experiences that are affecting your wellbeing.
The number and frequency of sessions can vary depending on your circumstances and what you and your counsellor decide together.
You don't have to know whether counselling will “work” before you start
It's understandable to feel uncertain about whether counselling will make a difference.
You don't need to have that answer before your first appointment.
For many people, the first step is simply having the opportunity to talk openly with someone in a safe and supportive environment.
If you've been thinking about talking to a counsellor, you don't need to wait until things become overwhelming.
Looking for counselling in the Waikato?
At Focused Consultancy Group, our counsellors provide professional counselling support for people across a range of ages and circumstances.
If you're considering counselling and aren't sure where to start, you can get in touch with our team to discuss your options.
You don't need a referral to access counselling.
Sometimes the hardest part is making the first appointment. After that, you can take things one step at a time.